So this past work week was an incredible week, as most are for me with my clients. Each session brings new insights and experiences and I can't express enough how amazing it is to me to see my clients begin to transform before my eyes.
Over the years I have developed a nack for being attuned to the subtle shifts and nuances that come with emotion health and healing. I see things that many would not notice or even acknowledge as significant, but to me, any shift means growth.. A difference in body posture, a change in tone, an ability to more clearly articulate feelings.. The changes are subtle like I said, most times, but nevertheless they are there.
As I watched this week though, something truly miraculous unfolded.. And it was funny because it seemed to be a theme for the week as it wasn't just with one client but an energetic sense that seemed to flow from session to session.
As each session unfolded, I heard story after story of in some way being closed off, shut down or being told to be something or someone different than who they were. Some accounts were with current relationships, some were historical in nature but each client seemed to be remembering times when the world had mirrored back to them how they in some way were just not OK.
Now we all have had these experiences, they aren't foreign or unique in the general sense, the world is a harsh place and even the best intentioned parent or friend will unknowingly shut us down at some point in our lives... It's inevitable.
What was striking this week though was the light that seemed to return to the eyes of one of my clients as we reflected on the qualities that would make him a prime candidate for a summer job he was prospecting. His demeanor was monotone, serious and flat as he was telling me he saw himself and funny, light hearted, sociable and energetic. I asked him if he realized the discrepancy between what he was saying and how he was showing up, and he said 'well yes, but I was told I needed to be professional and serious when going in to inquire about a job.' To which I assured him that there was definitely a time and place to be professional and serious and yet what it looked like to me was that he was squashing his best qualities right now. When I said this, his demeanor shifted. He smiled. He became more animated. His eyes brightened. His tone changed. It was like I was watching a total transformation right before my eyes.
To me, what I saw in those moments was an individual truly stepping back into himself. He seemed to realize that he, as he was, had value, that he could be professional and still be himself.
Most times it takes a lot longer than just a few words from a therapist to bring about such changes, but the message is a powerful one to take home. Each and everyone of us does ourself a favor when we own who we are. When we step into our own skin and show up. It's like saying, ' Hello world! I am here!' And knowing that you being here matters and has value. Most people have had so many experiences throughout their lives that have told them that they were not ok, wrong or not enough. When we believe these things about our essence, we abandon ourselves and our relationships. That quite voice the hides away in the deep dark corners of our minds that whispers these thoughts keeps us limited in accessing our full potential.
We don't all have a therapist or dear friend handy to remind us that we are enough but we do have our own awareness to help us on the quest. If you happen to hear that critic in your mind in the future, take a deep breath and ask yourself what's really true. Remind yourself that you belong here, that you have value by your own birth right, and that you matter. Then notice what happens in your body.
Many of you will notice a shift in tension, if only momentary. Keep practicing. The moments will grow.. Especially if you do have a group of positive friends and supportive people in your life.
If not, and you notice that you are experience considerable distress from the thoughts, you may want to consider calling a local therapist. There are ways to move through these issues and promote optimal well being and it doesn't have to take a life time of counseling or therapy to get there. =]
All my best to you... From me to you.. remember: YOU MATTER!!
Heidi
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