aRticulate it Thursdays are all about linguistics. How can we use language and our awareness of it, to get our messages heard, as well as communicate understanding to the ones we hold close?
Today's tip is to play a mindfulness game with ourselves. I know, sounds weird. Hear me out though. So the mindfulness practice is to make the word "you" our focus, just like we would with our breathing in a sitting meditation. Throughout the day, observe the use of the word "you" in our interactions with others. Make it your task to notice how the word is used and how often.
(This is what happens when we use the word "you" without ownership of your own stuff too much =] )
Often times, when the word "you" is used in interpersonal communication we are deflecting our own personal experience and pointing the finger at another. As in, "You really shouldn't do that." This can be translated to: "I don't like what you are doing, would you be willing to stop?" Notice the change in the communication? The word "you" is still used but the context is different and instead of making a demand, the dislike is owned, and then a request for change is made.
We also use the word "you" to show approval and congratulations. Which, yes, is way cool... yet for some, the "You did an amazing job!" can also mean, "Oh man, if I don't do it that way again, then I must be a real screw up!" I know, crazy, but these things happen in our minds and if we acknowledge that fact, then through mindful awareness, we can work to be sure our words send the message that we fully intend. In this case, a simple, "WOW!" could go along way. The recipient might respond, "Wow! What?"... and you could say, "I was pretty impressed with that performance!" Again, here, there is ownership for the impression instead of projection or judgement.
So for now, the task is to just be a watchful observer of how the word, "you" shows up in your life today. I find it to be a pretty fun practice myself. Hope "you" do as well. =]
No comments:
Post a Comment