I was in session recently discussing relationship dynamics with a client. We were addressing the importance of renewed agreements in relationships when my client shared that her parents, now married for close to 50 years, used to say to her on their anniversary every year that they were going away to "review their contract". My client shared that as a 10 year old this was a bit confusing and unsettling but that now as an adult, it made perfect sense.
I think we all could benefit from this practice. No matter the type of relationship we are engaged in, setting clear agreements from the outset and then revisiting them on an annual basis allows for the fluidity of life and makes room for our ever evolving selves. People do grow and change over time and the hope in marriage is that couples can not only growth together but support the divergent growth that may happen for their spouses.
On a fundamental level, the core agreement in a marriage is to work through the hard times and support each other in the good ones... quite simply, stand beside one another for life. Unfortunately, in this day and age in our country, this agreement gets broken by over 50% of those that choose to make it, myself included. A sad statistic, but a true one none the less. Maybe if we were more conscious and deliberate about what we are committing to before taking those vows and then further, diligent about reviewing our agreements on a regular interval we could begin to have a positive impact on this statistic. I know for myself, this is my hope should I ever decide to take the plunge again.
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