Being You!!

So this past work week  was an incredible week, as most are for me with my clients. Each session brings new insights and experiences and I can't express enough how amazing it is to me to see my clients begin to transform before my eyes. 

Over the years I have developed a nack for being attuned to the subtle shifts and nuances that come with emotion health and healing. I see things that many would not notice or even acknowledge as significant, but to me, any shift means growth.. A difference in body posture, a change in tone, an ability to more clearly articulate feelings.. The changes are subtle like I said, most times, but nevertheless they are there.

As I watched this week though, something truly miraculous unfolded.. And it was funny because it seemed to be a theme for the week as it wasn't just with one client but an energetic sense that seemed to flow from session to session.

As each session unfolded, I heard story after story of in some way being closed off, shut down or being told to be something or someone different than who they were. Some accounts were with current relationships, some were historical in nature but each client seemed to be remembering times when the world had mirrored back to them how they in some way were just not OK.

Now we all have had these experiences, they aren't foreign or unique in the general sense, the world is a harsh place and even the best intentioned parent or friend will unknowingly shut us down at some point in our lives... It's inevitable.

What was striking this week though was the light that seemed to return to the eyes of one of my clients as we reflected on the qualities that would make him a prime candidate for a summer job he was prospecting. His demeanor was monotone, serious and flat as he was telling me he saw himself and funny, light hearted, sociable and energetic. I asked him if he realized the discrepancy between what he was saying and how he was showing up, and he said 'well yes, but I was told I needed to be professional and serious when going in to inquire about a job.' To which I assured him that there was definitely a time and place to be professional and serious and yet what it looked like to me was that he was squashing his best qualities right now. When I said this, his demeanor shifted. He smiled. He became more animated. His eyes brightened. His tone changed. It was like I was watching a total transformation right before my eyes. 

To me, what I saw in those moments was an individual truly stepping back into himself. He seemed to realize that he, as he was, had value, that he could be professional and still be himself.

Most times it takes a lot longer than just a few words from a therapist to bring about such changes, but the message is a powerful one to take home. Each and everyone of us does ourself a favor when we own who we are. When we step into our own skin and show up. It's like saying, ' Hello world! I am here!' And knowing that you being here matters and has value. Most people have had so many experiences throughout their lives that have told them that they were not ok, wrong or not enough. When we believe these things about our essence, we abandon ourselves and our relationships. That quite voice the hides away in the deep dark corners of our minds that whispers these thoughts keeps us limited in accessing our full potential.

We don't all have a therapist or dear friend handy to remind us that we are enough but we do have our own awareness to help us on the quest. If you happen to hear that critic in your mind in the future, take a deep breath and ask yourself what's really true. Remind yourself that you belong here, that you have value by your own birth right, and that you matter. Then notice what happens in your body.

 Many of you will notice a shift in tension, if only momentary. Keep practicing. The moments will grow.. Especially if you do have a group of positive friends and supportive people in your life.

If not, and you notice that you are experience  considerable distress from the thoughts,  you may want to consider calling a local therapist. There are ways to move through these issues and promote optimal well being and it doesn't have to take a life time of counseling or therapy to get there. =] 

All my best to you... From me to you.. remember: YOU MATTER!!

Heidi

FORWARD

I've been mulling over the word FORWARD in my head for some time now. Many times over the last few months I have found myself in a dilemma, difficulty or stuck spot and remembering the word FORWARD has helped me to unstick myself, find my footing and decide on my next right move. For some this may seem a no brainer. You just do it, you keep moving and you don't let your feelings or the dualities that exist within your mind slow you down. But for others I know, much like myself.. It's not quite so easy. Well, let me rephrase that... The action is just that easy but the process of getting there isn't. The fight between our head and our hearts, logic and emotion, can take it's toll and I am the first to admit that I have experienced it first hand. It is in these moments though that I value my centering time most. It is these moments that birth the most personal growth if I am willing to sit quietly and listen. 

I sit and I breathe. Focusing on my breathing helps to ground and center me. It is a meditative quite that allows for a recentering. It works like focusing on the hub of a spinning bicycle wheel. It gets at the root and though there may be chaos all around, it gives me a channel in which to center my energy.

Once I am grounded in my breathing, I ask myself 3 questions... 1) what am I feeling right now? And I wait quietly for the answer to emerge from within me.. 2) what is it that I am needing right now? And again, I wait quietly for the answer to emerge from within me.. And 3) what action can I take or do I want to take to get this need met right now?... And once more I wait quietly for the answer to emerge.

It is in this centering and self reflective time that I reconnect to my life energy and to the wisdom that lies within me. It is also in this time that I re-empower myself to take action in my life. If I sit with those questions and I come to the conclusion that I want to do nothing about the current situation that is causing me distress... so be it. But I have chosen that and in that I have taken back my power. Even the nondoing is action in this regard. 

This process helps me to  keep moving FORWARD in my life by keeping me awake to my inner process and reminding me that I ultimately am the author of my daily experiences... And so are you.

Practicing Presence

Take it in, take it all in.. Sights, sounds, smells,  colors, textures... 

As I sit here on the final night of my annual stay on the shores of our western coast, I breathe in the salt air, feel the cool breeze against my skin and allow the sounds of the crashing ocean waves to penetrate my experience. I am here, fully here to take in this moment. There is no way to replicate it. It is here and unfolding before me as each new wave unfolds upon the shore.

This moment is soothing to my soul. I feel my body relax and the tension drain with each new breathe I take. Breathe it in.. Be here now.. These are the words I say to myself to help me stay grounded and engaged with my life as it is happening before me.

Not all days will be like tonight, but no matter. By practicing presence now I am helping to train my body to take in my world regardless of the circumstance and I am creating a refuge for myself in the memory that I am creating while I am writing this. I say to myself, remember this moment.. Remember this feeling.. Breathe it in.. And my body will, and my nervous system will and it will forever be here now as a resource for me when I am in need of a calm and peaceful surrender.

We are all capable of creating our own resources by practicing a mindful presence in our everyday experiences. Take in the wonders of the world around you, connect with the feeling that it elicits in your body and breathe it in. Remind yourself to remember this feeling and you will be on your way to developing a presence that keeps you alive to the workings of the world around you and growing the network of positive associations within you to help empower you to move through difficult times as well.