WE POWER Wednesday: The Power of Encouragement 9.4.13

As I watched the TED talk I posted yesterday, I was moved by  Diana's story about her father. Yes, the story in it of itself was touching, but what struck me more than anything else was the power of belief and the gift of encouragement.

Often times we forget how important it is to believe in and encourage the ones that we love. We can be quick to judge, point out fault or insist on needing to be "realistic", all thing we usually do to be "helpful," yet we are forgetting the damaging effects these kinds of interactions can have on one's confidence.

Take a minute and imagine yourself getting ready to tackle a really big task, maybe something your've been dreading or something that has just been a thorn in your side. Now watch yourself move through the motions of the task and say to yourself something encouraging, like "I can do" or "Take the next step" or "I got what it takes"... what ever words seem to give you a little forward push. Just take in the feeling. Notice what it's like to have your head as your cheerleader. Notice what it feels like in your body... and breathe it in.

Now alternatively, bring up the same task and allow your doubting mind to run the show. Hear the messages that are probably more loud, the one's like, "I don't know about this", "this is a waste of time", or "I can't do it" or what ever they may be and do the same. Notice what happens in your body. Notice what the energy is like, what feelings go along with it.

Note the subtle differences that emerge from each experience. It is these subtle differences that determine the difference between winning and losing in a race or in initiating a plan of action or staying stuck in a nonworking pattern. The coolest part about it though is that we all hold the power within us to help tip the scale in a forward direction for ourselves and others.

Our minds and our words of encouragement are our allies in having a positive impact on our sense of wellbeing and the world around us. Through an active commitment to motivate and encourage ourselves and the ones we love we help to instill a sense of confidence and belief that has the potential to make more champions like Diana.

On this WE POWER Wednesday I encourage you to use your gifts of encouragement and belief today to boost up someone you love. Tell them you believe in them, let them know you got their back and that they are capable. Do your best to communicate these messages not only with your words but your actions as well. I will do the same.

All my best to you,

Heidi

aRticulate it THURSDAY: It's all about YOU!

aRticulate it Thursdays are all about linguistics. How can we use language and our awareness of it, to get our messages heard, as well as communicate understanding to the ones we hold close?

Today's tip is to play a mindfulness game with ourselves. I know, sounds weird. Hear me out though. So the mindfulness practice is to make the word "you" our focus, just like we would with our breathing in a sitting meditation. Throughout the day, observe the use of the word "you" in our interactions with others. Make it your task to notice how the word is used and how often.

(This is what happens when we use the word "you" without ownership of your own stuff too much =] )

Often times, when the word "you" is used in interpersonal communication we are deflecting our own personal experience and pointing the finger at another. As in, "You really shouldn't do that." This can be translated to: "I don't like what you are doing, would you be willing to stop?" Notice the change in the communication? The word "you" is still used but the context is different and instead of making a demand, the dislike is owned, and then a request for change is made.

We also use the word "you" to show approval and congratulations. Which, yes, is way cool... yet for some, the "You did an amazing job!" can also mean, "Oh man, if I don't do it that way again, then I must be a real screw up!" I know, crazy, but these things happen in our minds and if we acknowledge that fact, then through mindful awareness, we can work to be sure our words send the message that we fully intend. In this case, a simple, "WOW!" could go along way. The recipient might respond, "Wow! What?"... and you could say, "I was pretty impressed with that performance!" Again, here, there is ownership for the impression instead of projection or judgement.

So for now, the task is to just be a watchful observer of how the word, "you" shows up in your life today. I find it to be a pretty fun practice myself. Hope "you" do as well. =]