Moving forward seems to be a reoccurring theme for me lately. I have been working on a new post on the topic but for now I will share this story from a couple years ago. I know for me, I have found myself at that half way mark many times in my life. That place where all I want to do is turn back, but going back is not really an option and at the same time, the thought of taking that next step forward is near paralyzing. aAt these times, what I hold to most is that brief moment of silence and stillness and the belief, "if not this, something better. Maybe I am deluding myself, but to date, it has worked pretty well. =] We can't go back and undo what has already happened. And although there may be safety and familiarity in what has been, the future holds endless possibilities of what is yet to be. After all, life is about growth right? And what are we if we aren't growing moving forward and unfolding into the next moment of what is to come. Remember, it's all an adventure. So why not jump in and enjoy the ride?
Soo… I think yesterday marks the first day of my new life. I had an interesting encounter with the cliffs in Laguna Beach and though subtle, the lessons from that experience keep emerging as time passes and deeper connections continue to be made.
Here is how my story unfolds… Yesterday morning I arose early, as usual, though more effortlessly than has been normal as of late. It was a calm and quite morning in Laguna Beach, CA. The winds from the previous day had blown over and the morning was clear and still. I left the boys sleeping with the intent on being back before their plans for breakfast with the girls, the highlight of the ams here at the Rivera, and I turned back one last time, as those who know me all too well are familiar with, to get my phone.. just in case.. better to have it with me.. better safe than sorry.
So with phone in hand and ipod playing Stoa so eloquently in my ears, I took off down the street. I felt so alive and at peace and then I remembered I had forgotten to take my mornings dose of Athlete Octane! I was quite disappointed by this as I have grown to enjoy the gentle cinnamon orange flavor as part of my pre-training nutrition. Since I had been noticing quite profound improvements in my overall cardiovascular performance, I was fairly certain that I had already reached optimal serum blood concentration levels for my body and I knew that taking the dose post workout would suffice, especially since I was merely going out for a one hour base run anyway. So onward I ran.
Running south on PCH, as I do most every year when visiting the beach, I took in the ocean air, enjoyed my music and merged with the colors of the landscape all around me. I felt like I was floating, slicing through time. The journey was effortless.. my pace was solid yet constant and my lungs felt expansive and ever full of oxygen (one of the subtle but significant side effects I have experienced since taking AO).
I had decided on an hour run, base to natural running pace.. with a less-than-firm plan of an out and back format. As I took in the sounds and smells of the surrounding atmosphere, I pondered the idea of running back north along the shore once I hit the turn around point. I thought to myself, “What the heck? It’d be nice to be down by the water.” But I knew that there were coves and out croppings of rocks and tide pools along the way so I was not quite sure if it was really even possible to make it all the way back to main beach from where I was. So, at that time, I tossed the idea and continued onward.
That was until I saw this curious little enclave that led down to the beach from the HWY. It had an “Alice and Wonderland” like feel to it.. all covered in vines and branches with twisty steps and large tress. (I am a total sucker for things like this.. the more magical and secret the spot looks the more curious I become and enticing it seems..) So, true to form, the decision was made and off I went. “What the heck?” I thought, “You only live once, right? Let’s see what this path has to offer…”
And so down the stairs and on to the beach I went. At first glance, harmless. So I ran further south and then turned around to head back once I got to the first out cropping. I snapped a couple of pictures and began my journey back. I knew I had to navigate a few tide pools and rock formations but, I thought, “let’s get over this one and then I can always go up the next set of stairs on the other side.”
So I went, and I got through, and it was no big deal… mission accomplished! At that point I began to take on the mindset of “Free Running”… well, sort of. I wasn’t exactly running in a straight line but I wasn’t letting the objects in front of me hinder my forward progress either. It was liberating. I was enjoying my run… or adventure as it had become… snapping pictures, recording the ocean sounds and keeping a steady pace… that is, when I wasn’t clambering over the rocks or tip toeing through the tide pools.
After about the 4th out cropping and having navigated through a cavernous hole in the side of a cliff, I passed a baby seal and a few folks who were tending to it while they waited for the rescue team to come. Just another amazing little moment. He was precious, but looked sad… Stevie the Seal.. and no.. I did not name him… the lady that was tending to him had said he had been doing the “Stevie Wonder” and hence.. his name was born. I stopped when I came upon Stevie and chatted with the lady for a bit and then I returned to my journey.
I noticed that the next out cropping in front of me was a little bit bigger than the others, but by this time there was no doubt in my mind. I stashed my phone and clipped on my ipod then, upward I went. I was full of courage and excitement about the morning and the experience. I was feeling proud of myself because I was actually going to be back on time too! And I was excited about all the miraculous things I had seen and discovered.
Shortly after I started taking on this rock formation, I began to notice that I couldn’t really see where the “other side” was exactly, and I realizing that I was really going up and not just across. At first, again, no doubt in my mind, just curious adventure then, it hit me. I was about ¾ of the way to the top when I fully realized that ummm.. this is seeming a little more daunting than I had expected. I glanced down…it was a LONG way down.. a sharp, pointy, cavernous way down. Not good. Looking back at the path I had taken up, I questioned how I had even made it. It was quite sandy and had very few handholds (at least for this novice rock climber like me!). One attempt to descend told me, “DOWN IS NOT AN OPTION”. So, I sat there for a moment, trying not to panic as the doubtful thoughts began to race through my mind… “OMG! What have I done?!, How am I gonna get out of this one?!”...etc… The thought of having to be “rescued” was more unbearable than the thought of bodily harm and dismemberment from falling, though that was not all that appealing either. I quickly regained my composure and focused on forward movement.
About 10 feet above me was a deck. I figured if I could grab the support beams of the deck I’d be golden. Trespassing was definitely more desirable than the humiliation of having to be “rescued” or the threat of permanent injury or death. I had to get to the deck… “GO forward.. NOW.. don’t look back.. get FOCUSED.. eye on TARGET”.. so there I went. Each hand-hold solid, each move precise with laser focus.
Within minutes, mission accomplished! I had always said that safety and structure were important needs to me but this gave that concept a whole new meaning! I was never so grateful for a solid stable structure in all my life. I didn’t think twice about scaling the underside of the deck to get to the edge, to then find my way up and over the side. It all just unfolded naturally. I was very thankful that no one was up yet at the beach house. Though, had I climbed over the edge to face a rifle at my forehead, I would have at least died knowing that I had been the ONE who got me OUT of the bind on the cliff.. all by myself. But that didn’t happen.. (thank God!)! I did have to climb to the second story of the deck to find a way out, though luckily when I got there, the side gate to the outside world was in fact unlocked.
I was free! Liberated!... from the cliffs and my fears. Unstuck, so to speak. No more sitting in the in between of doubt and uncertainty. No more looking back and obsessively weighing the options. I learned that if there is a WILL, there is in fact a WAY! IF you are WILLING to BELIEVE! I also learned that sometimes, to get where you need to go, you got to think outside the box of limitations, rules and expectations and just do what you know in your heart of hearts is true.
My cruise back to the hotel was delightful. Calm and collected. A few battle wounds on my legs but a sense of okayness within my spirit.
And btw.. I was still on time for breakfast.. where my Athlete Octane was waiting for me..
and it was still cold…
No matter how big, no matter how small.. just take the next step.. and NEVER.. EVER look back..
Always an adventure… hope you enjoyed the story. It is in fact true..even the part about the Athlete Octane. I have to say that I have noticed some truly remarkable changes in my performance and training ability since I have been taking Athlete Octane. I feel better over all, I have more energy and I seem to be able to step it up a notch in places where I have consistently fallen off in the past. I am glad to be alive today to continue my training and racing. As an athlete, I have lofty goals.. with the right focus and attention, a willingness to believe in my ability and AO as part of my overall training plan, I have no doubt that I will achieve them!
Heidi
Lead with your heart and the rest will follow…
